I Love Me!

Megan Trainer said it and I agree, “I Love Me”.

Loving comes easily for me. I think that I was born with a special love gene. I have always been very sensitive to others needs. Feeling empathy for people and wanting them to be ok. I have been so caring and so concerned for others well being that I have at times totally left out my own.

It took some time, longer than I would have liked, to discover that I was not adding myself in the love equation. If you would have asked me if I loved myself, I would have said yes. However, my actions told a different story. I would accept hurtful behavior from others. I was not monitoring, as closely as I should, the types of people that I allowed in my life. I would give my time to do for others but not put in the time to care for me. It was as if I thought that it was selfish to focus on me.  I never really gave a whole lot of thought about my own wants, needs or desires. I remembered myself as a child, and what my interests and dreams were, but at some point I had forgotten about me. It was as if I stopped existing. I can recall a time when I had become so lost and insecure that I began to look to others to help me define me.

Wake Up and know

One day it was as if I had been asleep and I woke up and asked the question, what do I want and I had know idea. I realized that for so long I had been putting myself last, that I had not been living for me at all.  I realized that there was no one who could define me and that as long as I was a people pleaser, I was setting myself up to be taken advantage of. I learned that as much as I had been giving to others, I had not really been as helpful as I could have been if I had been truly loving to myself.

A Guide to Self Love

Step 1. Loving Yourself Enough to Live Your Dream

Loving yourself does take some effort but you are worth it.  You deserve to experience joy and the passion felt when you really live for you. Most people give up on their dreams, settling for mediocre experiences.  We look at people like celebrities who are living their dreams and we are in awe of them.

Unfortunately we are not paying attention to there not so secret, secret.  They have simply discovered where their passion lies. They work diligently to hone their craft, in order to live their dream.  Their families and friends are the beneficiaries of their decision to live their dream.

Alternatively, people often give up their dream out of fear of what their family and friends may think. Denying themselves and everyone around them all of the joy and rewards that their gift would bring.

Step 2. You Have to be the Master of You

Often times the reason that dreams die is because of the thinking of others around us. Well meaning family or friends may fear that our dream is unrealistic, too steep a climb or a variety of other fears that lead them to try and discourage us from pursuing our dreams.  Rather than trust that we can do or become whatever we desire, we trust others to know whats best for us.  That is a huge mistake because they are more than likely not living their dream. They don’t know or trust their own potential so of course they would not be able to see what is possible for us.

Other times our own thinking is the dream thief.  We allow our mind to act as the master instead of the servant that it is meant to be.  Learning to master our minds is the most important step toward self love.  We have about 40 plus thoughts per minute and many of those thoughts do not support our goals.  It is imperative that we shut down those thoughts that inhibit us from moving into the actions that would guide us toward our dreams.

 

Step 3. Willingness to do the Work 

Another barrier to realizing our dreams is quitting; giving up when the road gets rough.  You have heard the sayings, ” Nothing worth having…., Winners never quit and quitters…”.  Staying the course is so important. When give up we miss out on the open door, that person that would come along to offer you a hand or the big break that would get you there. Sure accomplishing our dream goals is challenging but the alternative leaves us living a smaller unfulfilled life  and that is not loving.